Non-story of the year

The lead story in tonight’s Gazette concerns ‘FISHERMEN RISKING THEIR LIVES ON CLIFF TOPS’. I’m sure there is some element of risk involved, but I’m also fairly certain there is risk involved in lounging about on the sofa eating pork pies.
I occasionally run along the cliffs in the dark, and yes there is a small chance that I could slip or a gust of wind blows me over. But as an adult I can weigh up those relative risks and decide whether or not I’m prepared to take them.
Although fishing doesn’t appeal to me, the fishermen I see on the cliffs appear to be enjoying themselves. In any activity it is sensible to minimise risk, but it is possible to become so risk averse that you’d never leave the house.
Life isn’t risk free. We all die in the end, but some of us decide to live a little first.

John Martyn

Considering his lifestyle it’s a minor miracle he didn’t die years ago. Incredibly talented though.

Saturday neet in the Bigg Market

‘Donner Disco’

Pie in the sky

Mmm… Pie.
That Gazette airport letter in full (unedited).

Richard Branson

I fucking hate hippie businessmen. They’re a bunch of hypocritical bastards. Number one on the list has to be tricky Dickie Branson. Sadly, Curly appears to have been taken in by his PR bullshit. Watching this video a few dozen times though will calm my angst and cheer me up.

Prince Charming

Dennis Wright reckons calling someone “Paki” is no different from his old National Service chums calling him Geordie. Mmm… I beg to differ. Mind you, what would you expect from someone with a track record of referring to disabled children as “Limpy”.

Sending hate mail doesn’t sound very Christian to me.

That nice man off the telly, you know the one that clambers up mountains of guano and grooms gorillas’ hair for tics, has been receiving hate mail from religious fundamentalists. That’s not very loving of them.

Base 1

Glancing at my diary has reminded me that I should be starting training today for the summer races that I’ve entered. I tried to keep myself ticking over during the winter months, and all had been going well until the flu kicked in.
Last Wednesday I went out for a 50 minute run along the coast, which turned out to be 10 minutes too long for my present level of fitness, resulting in a very tender IT band injury.
Resumption of training will have to wait for a few days yet.

Global Overheating

Channel 4 has put the infamous Bellamy V Monbiot interview up on their website. The look on Bellamy’s face as Jon Snow puts the accusation of talking “Bullshit” to him really shouldn’t be missed. To watch it go to this link then click on watch the report.

No shit, Sherlock!

"The pre-sentence report in Matthews' case comments that neither defendant seems to have the cognitive ability to devise and orchestrate such an elaborate offence with any degree of likelihood of success."

Baby, it’s cold outside…

…but it’s going to get uncomfortably hot. I wonder how the anti-science lunatic fringe will try to explain this one away.


I see Rossinisbird has already beat me to this one.

"Scrap Trident"

I suppose this will be just another bunch of unwashed leftie students moaning on and calling for Great Britain to surrender its nukes… wait a minute!

Pier to Pier run 2009

Details and entry forms for the South Shields to Sunderland Pier to Pier run are available to download here.

Lies, lies, lies.

There’s been an awful lot of Greenwash spouted by government ministers and their industrial masters recently, trying to persuade us all that building a third Heathrow runway is actually good for the environment. Click here to check out just how worthless the promises of the aviation industry are.

Running again

The stresses of every day life are now draining away. After an enforced lay-off of 4 weeks I’m at last able to run again. It’s very slow and not very far but at least its running.

Ed Miliband talking bollocks!

sources close to Energy Secretary Ed Miliband described the plans as "only half a runway".

Update: At the time of publishing the BBC link I highlighted clearly attributed the “only half a runway” remark to sources close to Ed Miliband. Did they get it wrong, or has the BBC caved into pressure from Baron Mandy of Skulduggery ?

Poetic justice

I’ve enjoyed following the recent Gaza protest debate over on Curly’s and Rossinisbird’s blogs. Passionate people giving their gut reactions on controversial subjects are what blogging is all about.
Not only that, but in Lalon the Gazette has found a long term replacement for Ruby Hartley… a win-win situation!

Watch the birdie

Self Defence and the Law

You’re minding your own business and some chav neighbour potentially puts your life at risk by lobbing a brick or some other missile in your general direction. How do you respond? Do you call the police; or maybe in the heat of the moment do you confront your neighbour and attempt to shove the projectile where the sun don’t shine. No, no, no!
The correct and lawful self defence is to wait several years then go round to your neighbour’s house while he’s out and slaughter his wife and kids. For good measure round up all the kids in the area, shove them into a building and deprive them of food and water for a few days before killing them in cold blood.
Don’t worry about the consequences because this expert witness will explain to the court that you were acting in reasonable “self defence”.
On no account though be tempted to lob your hush puppies at someone as this is deemed to be a serious “assault” that will lead to imprisonment and a beating.

Lunatic Asylum

Earlier in the week I caught the first episode of State of Mind on Radio 4. If you didn’t hear it’s well worth downloading the podcast here.
The first episode, Total Institution, gives a frank insight into the social history of the mental asylums of the 1950s; the description you hear of ECT being administered is an accurate one.

Conservative Future

The Nasty Party strikes again.
You can hardly blame those two bozos for wanting to have their faces pixelated, can you imagine the shame of being photographed standing next to David Cameron.

Prostitutes!

I just had to share this with you. While I was publishing my previous post I had this photo of Jacqui Smith and Fiona Mactaggart up on the screen.
A friend of mine who is an undergraduate at Newcastle University was making coffee in the room at the time. He studied the photo carefully and then uttered the immortal words “Are they prostitutes?”

Sex, Lies and Politicians

Surprise surprise! A Labour MP has been caught out by the BBC making up statistics. Who’d have thought it?
45 minute WMD warning anyone!

Bernie Madoff’s black n white army

I thought Keith Harris was the bloke who walked around his fist up a ducks arse, but after listening to 5 live last night, I discovered he almost sold Newcastle United to a business man with some very dodgy financial connections.
I’m saying nowt…

Homophobe of the year awards

Drum roll please… And the short-list for homophobic bigot of the year 2008 are…

Wannabe Fuhrer and holocaust denier... Nick Griffin.

President of the Islamic Republic of Iran and holocaust denier… Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

God’s representative on earth… are you beginning to see a pattern emerging yet?... Pope Benedict XVI

Indy Alliance love-in bloggers and self appointed arbiters of sexual morality, Mr Monkey.

Travelblog

In 2008 I particularly enjoyed reading the Japanese travel diaries over at Dolphin Hotel. Japan is a country that I’m unlikely to visit, but Michael was able to give us the sort of insight that you won’t find in the Rough Guide. If you haven’t checked it out yet this is an example of what you’ve been missing.